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As much as it hurt the day he left me was probably the best day of my life and the beginning of focusing on me, myself & I and of course my brother Stephen. I’ve walked down a similar road with a 7 year common-law marriage to an abusive man. The only other people in this world that you should devote yourself to are your parents. Stop giving your husband permission to hurt you emotionally and psychologically. You have made time for everyone else in this world now it is time to take care of you and your needs. Why continue to punish yourself? Why live with self-doubt. It is like you are carrying dead weight and you should not have to do that. I know that it is difficult to let go of any relationship that you have invested time and effort but if he is not willing to support you or care for you then it is time for him to hit the road. Marriage is a partnership not a master/slave thing. He must take responsibility for his actions. No man would treat a woman he is married to that way. As you already know he no longer loves you.
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But true Love overlooks mistakes and sees the good in the person. Yes there were mistakes but we are all human and no relationship is without errors. Obviously his reasons for getting married were not the same as yours. You lay yourself on the marriage altar sacrificing your name, homeland, family, faith to unite with him in marriage. It has gotten to the point where you feel shame and guilt when you should not. The cruel painful things he says to you, the way he neglects you yet expects you to obey his every wish and desire is evil.
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That is calculated, thought out and planned. I don’t like saying this but I firmly believe he poisoned your son’s mind against you. The contract is now null and void.ĭespite his supposed mental illness and having had a minor stroke he still has the ability to take care of his personal business, his mother and your son. As much as you Love your husband and knowing you have been faithful and loyal to him for 30+ years he has not held up his end of the bargain. Sometimes when spouses are at odds with each other one person manipulates the other through the child. I believe with all my heart and soul that you did your best in your marriage and with your child.
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We are sisters separated by continents but united in our hearts. An Open Letter to a Sister in Marital Distress Keyshia Cole – I Remember
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